Tough Times Humor

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald’s, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call and ask if they mean you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ‘ouncer’.

Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children’s names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges and BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.

And, finally…

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

— Source Unknown

Maxine’s View on the New Health Care

clip_image001Let me get this straight…… we now have a health care plan written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn’t understand it, passed  by a Congress that hasn’t read it but exempts  themselves from it, to be signed  by a president that also hasn’t read it and who smokes, with funding  administered by a treasury chief who didn’t pay his taxes, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that’s broke.

What the hell could possibly go wrong????