Croc Files

Killing of gator upsets Cinco Ranch residents in Houston.

Local news ran a video tape of law enforcement dragging this animal down the street behind a truck before shooting it. Where’s the sense in that? Has anyone at the sheriff’s department heard of animal conservationism? Call the Crocodile Hunter, for Pete’s sake.


A little more scoop on the giant alligator a game wardon shot in an upper-class neighborhood on Monday. It’s a jungle down here!

Teen-agers are a Plague on Society

Saturday I observed one of our neighborhood brats, approximately 15 years of age, white, upper-middle class, etc., shooting signs, fences, garbage cans, and who-knows-what-else when I wasn’t watching with a wrist rocket slingshot.

To those of you who don’t know, these are very powerful, if difficult to aim, weapons. I had a friend over and so, hypocritically perhaps, decided against calling the sheriff and looking like a jerk to my buddy. So I let it go, more or less.

There I am today, painting my house and here comes the same shit-for-brains walking down the street shooting everything with his damn slingshot again. Parenthetically, I shudder to think what would have happened to me if I’d even thought of doing something as asinine as that when I was a child. He sees me watching him, as he did the previous day, and continues to do it. So I yell down, “Hey, stop shooting that thing.” He doesn’t acknowledge my command, but continues to walk, waiting about 15 seconds to shoot it again.

Insolent little fuck, I thought. After a moment of contemplation, I decided to call the cops this time. Hopefully they pinched the little prick and taught him a lesson his parents obviously never did.

Was this wrong of me, teeny-boppers in the audience? I think not. If anything, it was wrong of me to ignore the boy’s improper behavior on the first occasion…