Black Shards Press – Electronic Gumbo is Our Specialty

Stay in School, Fool

30.04.2003 (12:45 pm) – Filed under: Education,Sports ::

UT’s point guard T.J. Ford is likely to go pro.

I’m something of a basketball player myself, if being a weekend warrior qualifies, and I was subjected to several of T.J.’s games recently last month. This kid is no pro ball player. In my circles, he’s known as “Turnover T.J.” for a reason.

Stay in school, kid, so you can make a living after you’re cut by the Clippers.

Croc Files

30.04.2003 (12:41 pm) – Filed under: Environment,Texas ::

Killing of gator upsets Cinco Ranch residents in Houston.

Local news ran a video tape of law enforcement dragging this animal down the street behind a truck before shooting it. Where’s the sense in that? Has anyone at the sheriff’s department heard of animal conservationism? Call the Crocodile Hunter, for Pete’s sake.

Update

A little more scoop on the giant alligator a game wardon shot in an upper-class neighborhood on Monday. It’s a jungle down here!

More News from the Land of the Inane

30.04.2003 (3:42 am) – Filed under: Stupidity ::

Researchers find that fish feel pain when hooked. And if they do are we supposed to stop eating fish, too?

I love this quote from Dawn Carr, director of PETA (Europe): ” ‘It is unfortunate that these animals were made to suffer for this study …’ “. Now that’s real genius at work.

FTC: Spam is Bad

29.04.2003 (2:41 pm) – Filed under: Stupidity,Technology ::

FTC: Two-thirds of junk e-mails have bogus claims

Gee, do you really think so? Don’t you just feel like slapping yourself silly having blown all that scratch on Viagra?

File Sharing

26.04.2003 (7:15 pm) – Filed under: Technology ::

Judge rules file-sharing firms not liable. About time someone looked at this issue logically.

More news of the inane…

25.04.2003 (6:43 pm) – Filed under: Stupidity ::

Two Southwest Airlines pilots were fired after taking off their uniforms in the cockpit and flying a plane virtually naked.

Now that’s humor! But should they be fired for it??? Uh, maybe we should all lighten up a bit.

Hillbillies

22.04.2003 (7:24 am) – Filed under: Free Speech,Stupidity ::

For some reason, Appalachians don’t like the upcoming TV show “Real Hillbillies”. OK, they have a point, but if you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Citizens of America must unite and demand our “Real Hillbillies”. Maybe if we stand up to these bumpkins, football fans can do the tomahawk chop and cheer for the Redskins in peace!

CEOs Earnings Up

22.04.2003 (5:27 am) – Filed under: Business ::

This even though earnings are down.. This is a very interesting article. Apparently being a CEO is an even sweeter deal that it seems since it’s virtually impossible to get fired from this position without, at the very least, taking a few million in ill-gotten booty home with your name plate.

Marriage Tax Penalty

22.04.2003 (4:53 am) – Filed under: Taxation ::

Simple mathematical proof that the tax man is sticking it to married couples.

Is it time for a flat tax yet?

Teen-agers are a Plague on Society

22.04.2003 (4:27 am) – Filed under: Stupidity,Youth ::

Saturday I observed one of our neighborhood brats, approximately 15 years of age, white, upper-middle class, etc., shooting signs, fences, garbage cans, and who-knows-what-else when I wasn’t watching with a wrist rocket slingshot.

To those of you who don’t know, these are very powerful, if difficult to aim, weapons. I had a friend over and so, hypocritically perhaps, decided against calling the sheriff and looking like a jerk to my buddy. So I let it go, more or less.

There I am today, painting my house and here comes the same shit-for-brains walking down the street shooting everything with his damn slingshot again. Parenthetically, I shudder to think what would have happened to me if I’d even thought of doing something as asinine as that when I was a child. He sees me watching him, as he did the previous day, and continues to do it. So I yell down, “Hey, stop shooting that thing.” He doesn’t acknowledge my command, but continues to walk, waiting about 15 seconds to shoot it again.

Insolent little fuck, I thought. After a moment of contemplation, I decided to call the cops this time. Hopefully they pinched the little prick and taught him a lesson his parents obviously never did.

Was this wrong of me, teeny-boppers in the audience? I think not. If anything, it was wrong of me to ignore the boy’s improper behavior on the first occasion…